Sunday, December 12, 2010

Why don't I believe in a god?

I was raised in a family that usually only went to church on Sunday and sometimes Sunday evening. I know I didn't like going but most kids would prefer anything to sitting in a church. I have at least 2 brothers who are heavy into religion but it is possible one other is but really can't see it. My 4th brother is probably a believer but not the kind that attends church unless he is chasing pussy. I have one sister that is Mormon and the other is a bit indifferent to church and it seems she only has much to do with it because she thinks that is what you are suppose to do. My mother is heavily involved with  the church but it seems it is more social then hard core believing. I have no real clue about my dad since we have never talked religion and when it is talked about he seldom if ever says a thing. I was raised in a family that really wasn't to serious about religion since I really can't remember praying before meals other then on holidays or when with extended family.

      I don't even know when I decided there was no god. I have been trying to figure out what is it that has caused me to see the world of religion for what it is. I can't say it was because of reading the bible. I can't say it is because I have more then the normal education in sciences. I can't say it was because of some terrible thing that has happened in my life. The things that have gone wrong with my life are for the most part my own fault, so I can't blame it on some imaginary being. There are things I wish I had been more prepared to deal with as an adult but I can blame that on anyone other then myself. When I was younger I never really thought much about the future and what I would need to know to deal with it. I tended to live in just the moment and boy did that come back and bite me in the ass. I think it is what I see in the world that tells me there can't be some all powerful being watching us. I see so much hate coming from so many claiming their lives are based on love and peace. I don't think that we would always turn to force if religions really were about love and peace. I know there are times that the only answer is using force but if you have to lie to justify using that force you never tried anything else. I see religion using force all the time to try and push their beliefs and will hear them whining when someone pushes back. I say if your god is real force isn't necessary for that to be shown. If you can't show your god is the truth without forcing that belief on children, I don't see it as anything more then indoctrination.